Comment on Arden's Rough Draft

Hey Arden i really like your rough draft im liking how its coming along so far. Anyways while i was reading it, it seemed a bit choppy and such yes i know its a rough draft :P. I really like the evidence that you have supporting your arguments they really go well with what your trying to say. I think that maybe you can try to probably find more evidence in some of your arguments since i know there's more statements about what your arguing floating about in cyber space. Other than that its a really good rough draft so far. Keep it up :]